A Yuletide of Epic Proportions
by ForeheadGoggles
Summary: Christmas with the Doctor is never normal. It’s never safe, it’s never easy, and it’s certainly never domestic. Christmas decorations are more trouble then they’re worth, snowmen have a dark side, and amidst the chaos there is always an adventure… TenRose
1. Chapter 1

Something I've been looking forward to since… September. Christmas! And with Christmas comes carols and trees and snow and cocoa and… Christmas fan fiction. Although it's really more of a Christmas preparation fan fiction… Since I'm not exactly writing what they did on Christmas…

The shop in this is a real place, if you've been there, you'll automatically know what I'm talking about, if you haven't (which is more likely, considering it's in America) then you may not understand the characters in it. You'll see. Most of it is inside jokes with my family or friends, which will be unseen to most… I have tried my very best to make this Ten/Rose, which will hopefully be obvious toward the ending…

Christmas with the Doctor is never normal. It's never safe, it's never easy, and it's certainly never domestic. Christmas decorations are more trouble then they're worth, snowmen have a dark side, and amidst the chaos there is potential romance… Ten/Rose

Disclaimer- It's the season of giving! Maybe BBC will let me borrow Doctor Who for a while…

"Christmas!"

Rose glanced up from her newly painted toes. "What?"

"Christmas! Twenty fifth of December. Except on that one planet that it's on the ninth of August. Lights and trees and turkey and joy and songs and Father Christmas and…"

"I know what Christmas is. Why the sudden exclamation?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Woke up and felt like it should be Christmas. And I have the power to make it so… Although, if we want a proper Christmas, we can't just go there… We have to prepare for it… Lets see… How about… Fifteenth of December… Earth… 2007..." he hopped around the console of the TARDIS, flicking a switch here, pulling a lever there, and the ship materialized in a cluster of trees.

The time travelers emerged from the police box, Rose bundled up in a fluffy coat and the Doctor wrapped in a mile-long scarf.

"We need a tree," the Time Lord exclaimed. "Large, with lots of branches and without any little birdies nestled in the branches. Something like…"

"This one?" Rose pointed to a beautiful tree, one that matched the Doctor's description perfectly, with a dusting of snow on the branches and plenty of branches.

"Brilliant!" the Doctor knelt in the snow beside the tree and withdrew what appeared to be a butter knife from his pocket.

Rose tilted her head in confusion and jumped back in shock as a red beam of energy exploded from the ending of the blade in a shower of sparkles.

"Lasery sonic tree cutter," the Doctor explained. "It cuts the tree for us to use in the TARDIS, but keeps it alive, so not only can we keep it up for as long as we want to, but when we're done with it, we bring it back here, place it on the stump and TA DA! The tree and the stump fuse together and it's like we never cut it down. Can you catch it?"

Rose scooted behind the tree as the Doctor swung his magical tree cutter. With a squeak, the lovely pine leapt from it's previous location and into her arms. The two companions each took an end of the tree and began to shuffle towards the TARDIS. The pine seemed eager to be in the warmth of the ship, moving almost of it's own accord.

In fact, it wasn't until the tree literally flew into the stand did they began to suspect something slightly more sinister than holiday cheer was at work.

Withdrawing his Sonic Screwdriver, the Doctor ducked under the needles and, with a shout of triumph, hauled a miniature, wriggling snowman from the stand.

"Satanic Snowmen," the Time Lord commented. "Lives predominantly in the upper reaches of the mountains of the planer Kaltarmiko. Delights in stealing Christmas joy, chasing innocent holiday shoppers and er, starting snowball fights."

"Snowball fights?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Few things are as deadly as a perfectly aimed snowball. Right between the eyes- BAM! Next thing you know, you're lying on your back with pneumonia and frostbite- not a great position to be in, especially in northern Canadia…"

"Canadia?"

"Parallel to Canada. It's exactly the same, but underwater."

"How could you get frostbite under the water?" Rose questioned.

"It's possible. Angelfish have a mean streak, and with the proper equipment, they can have the Black Sea frozen in two-point-five seconds…"

"Are you speaking from experience?"

The Doctor mumbled something inaudible to his Converse. Opening the door of the TARDIS with one hand and clutching the snowman in the other, he flung the creature out into the chill.

Turning the Rose, the Doctor offered a brilliant grin. "Ready to decorate?"

Rose glanced dubiously at the tree. "With what?"

The Doctor smacked his head. "Right! Have just the place…" He hopped about the console, setting the coordinates, while Rose hopped from foot to foot in anticipation. The ship materialized with her familiar jolt, and, bundling up once more, the travelers raced to the door.

They found themselves in the parking lot of a ordinary looking store. A bit over-decorated perhaps, with a large Father Christmas in the top window, lights on every tree, and an inflatable snow globe, but perfectly normal. Holding hands like they did when running for their lives, they skipped merrily to the door. With a gentlemanly smile, the Doctor swung the door open for Rose, and followed her into the dim hallway. So joyous were they, neither of them noticed the snowman inside the globe staring at them with unblinking eyes.

"Moo-ey Christmas!"

The corridor exploded with light as a million blinking particles swirled to life, reveling an unusual sight. A make-believe barn housed a held a large make-believe cow, who seemed to be the one speaking to them.

"Welcome to the Christmas Loft!" the bovine exclaimed with joy. "My name is Betsy- what's yours?"

"The Doctor!"

"Rose!"

Betsy mooed again and tilted her head. "This is Stumpy…"

The Doctor and Rose turned their heads with the cow, and saw a plastic tree that reached the ceiling.

"Why hello," was Stumpy's drawn-out greeting.

"Do you recognize the song the birds in Stumpy's branches are singing? Lets sing along!"

The twitching birds began to tweet out a melody, which the Doctor and Rose began to sing along to.

"Jingle bells, the Slitheen smell, a Dalek laid an egg…" the Time Lord cried.

Rose could have sworn the two machines frowned at him, as the audio turned up to drown him out.

"Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh…"

"HEY!" the Doctor exclaimed. "I was singing that!"

Before he could have the now-demonic cow feel his Sonic wrath, Rose led him away down the hall.

They skipped along the brick path, passing tree after tree. Each one seemed to glow with the power of a tinfoil-wrapped baked potato (most radioactive substance known to man). The lights blinked cheerfully in colors beyond the natural spectrum, some even sparkled to a well-known tune.

"Chestnuts! Get your fresh, hot chestnuts here!"

The Doctor's ears twitched and he licked his lips. "Chestnuts?"

Rose chuckled and followed the hungry Time Lord into the central room. She caught her breath in shock- an entire village was squeezed into the building! The Doctor leaned casually on a button and the frozen citizens crackled to life.

"Twas the night before Christmas…" a loudspeaker boomed, flashing a spotlight on a family inside a cozy house.

The Doctor and Rose strolled along, giggling at an elderly woman chatting with Father Christmas. They passed a boy clutching a newspaper, a barber shop (a quick scan with the Sonic confirmed that the hair on the floor was real), and finally, the bakery. The Doctor's eyes glazed over as he stared at the baked goods hungrily. He was just reaching for a (plastic) muffin when…

"Chestnuts! Get your fresh, hot chestnuts here!"

The Time Lord glanced up sharply. There he was! The chestnut man! He was so close! All the Doctor needed to do was cross the covered bridge!

"Come on Rose!" he exclaimed. Grabbing her hand once more, he raced to the bridge, thinking of chestnuts. Converse tapping, he hopped onto the bridge… Wait a minute! Did the snowman that child was building just move? No, 'course not. Satanic Snowmen didn't live in shops… Or did they? He could never remember.

No time to think about that now! The chestnut man was almost close enough to touch! Just a little further… Hold on… He seemed awfully stiff…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the Doctor howled in sorrow and frustration, falling to his knees. "Why?!"

Rose tentatively approached the angsty Time Lord. She leapt back in fright as he turned furiously to the electrical socket in the wall.

"You! You're the reason I can't have nice things!" he accused. Frowning, he stood up, brushing pretend snow from his trousers.

Rose began to fish in her pockets… Ah ha! Grinning ear to ear, she held out half a peanut to the Doctor.

A familiar, brilliant smile took the place of his scowl, as he inhaled the snack.

"Quite tasty, Rose. Thank you for pulling me from my spiraling descent into terror. Shall we continue?" Offering his arm, he lead her into a room containing seventeen trees and about fifteen million lights.

"Do we need lights?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Sonic Screwdriver can take care of that… Besides, I don't have the patience nor inclination to string lights on a tree."

"I was wondering… Isn't this whole Christmas thing a bit… Domestic?"

The Doctor gave a gasp of mock-horror. "Rose! How dare you say such a thing! I am in _no way _going domestic. Is that understood? Christmas can be exciting and adventurous! Just you watch me!"

With a twirl, he charged off into the next room, Rose racing behind him.

This room did not have the explosive power of the last, in fact, it was warm and cozy with only four trees and about forty thousand decorations. Rose found the Doctor already up to his knees in boxes. Grinning from ear-to-ear, she joined her friend in his ever-growing stack of joy.

"Look at these Rose!" the Doctor held up a package of Star Wars ornaments. "Yoda and Vader and C3PO, and R2-D2, and a Stormtrooper!"

Rose giggled at his excitement, and held up her own box. Inside were multi-coloured swirls of glass with elegant feathers sprouting from the tips.

"Brilliant!" he exclaimed. "What about these here?" These ornaments were similar, but had a double strand of glass and pebble strings in place of the feathers.

His companion stretched up on her toes to reach one very pretty ornament- a glass heart. Inside were two snowmen holding hands.

The Doctor tilted his head in confusion.

"You're the big snowman and I'm the little snowman- see?" Rose explained.

"No, it's not that… It's just that this one fits us better," the Time Lord picked up another decoration- two angels flying hand in hand.

"Snowmen are a bit too evil," he pointed out.

The Doctor's eyes suddenly grew to the size of dinner-plates. "Look at _that_!" he gasped. His unblinking gaze was resting on a large red Christmas light.

"This?" Rose picked up the single ornament. "It's kinda tacky…"

"It's beautiful…"

The Doctor was cut off by a terrifying cackle and a shower of snow. He stared in shock as the snowmen of Rose's ornament grew in size and blasted from their glassy prison. Several rooms over, they heard similar sounds as the snowmen sprung into sentience.

"Satanic Snowmen! Run!"

TBC…

Oooh, an attempt at a cliff-hanger. I just noticed that my little Christmas fluff has expanded into a long Christmas epic… And it's not done yet! I hope to get the conclusion up on Christmas Eve, so be sure to tune in…

The tacky red light bulb and the Star Wars ornaments are mine… They are the coolest things ever…

Tis the season of giving… If you gift me with a review I'll gift you with one… This is my hopeful grin, in case you can't see it…


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the conclusion to my little Christmas epic… Should get very Ten/Rose at the end (joyful hop) I'm hoping this chapter will satisfy, I have some action planned as well as humour, so do enjoy. Merry Christmas!

Disclaimer- If I owned Doctor Who, they'd ACTUALLY AIR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE IN THE U.S!

It's not on here… How depressing… I shall have to watch it on Youtube. With the grainy picture and my awful speakers… Don't mind me, I'm just wallowing in self-pity. Okay, I'm better! I'm also trying out the dividers… Wonder if they'll work this time (they haven't been).

Also, a note on the butler. I don't know what it is about that thing that fills me with such a childlike fear… A fear that I passed on to the Doctor…

Grabbing Rose's hand, the Doctor charged in the opposite direction of the ruckus. After running with in no particular direction for five minutes, Rose had to ask…

"Doctor? What're we gonna do?"

"Still working on it… We need to find the central heating system… Maybe we can melt them… In there- quick!"

The two companions turned around a sharp corner and slid into a room the size of a broom closet.

"MUHAHAHAHA!"

The Doctor jumped about three feet with a strangled cry of fear.

"What was that?" he hissed to Rose.

She pointed above, around, even under them. "Must be the Halloween room."

"Of course," the Time Lord said, attempting to hide his terror. Fortunately, he didn't have to hide it much longer, the Satanic Snowmen were nearing their hiding spot.

Rose ducked under a shelf filled with dishes, and the Doctor inched backwards to avoid being spotted. Both held their breath until the frosty fiends had passed.

Releasing his breath, the Doctor leaned back in his hiding place, pressing a conveniently placed button in the process.

"MUHAHAHAHA!"

"Ahhhh!" the Doctor leapt to his feet, withdrawing his Sonic Screwdriver. Staring back at him was a tall, bald butler, with dark shadows under his eyes and skeletal arms.

Quivering in fear, he backed out of the room, Sonic poised for attack. His abnormally large eyes never leaving the statue, the Doctor shuffled all the way to the main room- and to war…

Still hiding in the Halloween room, Rose began to wonder where the Doctor had gotten to. He was probably hiding in the TARDIS, recovering from his fright. She glanced uneasily at the butler, he _was_ pretty weird. Still, it wasn't like the Doctor to just bolt from the room like that… Perhaps she should go look for him. Although the Satanic Snowmen were still about…

Sighing, she rolled out from under the shelf and crept towards the main room. She was just about to step into the jolly village, when she heard a strange noise. A battle cry? Sounded… Doctor-ish. Sure enough, as she entered, her friend came flying by, wielding two lit candlesticks.

"Rose!" he cried in surprise and joy. "Hold these for a moment?"

Pushing the weapons into her hands, the Doctor jumped up and made a grab for some hanging lights. Giving them an experimental tug, he shimmied up his makeshift rope- right onto the barber shop roof.

"Come on Rose!" he cried. "I can see the Snowmen approaching!"

Rose turned to see the frozen creature come shambling towards her. With a flick of her wrist, she sent the candle spinning into it's head, shortly followed by another into it's chest.

Now that she had both hands free, she scooted up the light-rope. The Doctor reached out for her arm and swung her up onto the roof next to him.

In his classic style, he grinned brightly at her. "Hello."

Glancing around frantically, he pointed to a distant rooftop. "That's where the heat is coming from!"

Rose frowned. "We'll never get there in time!"

Sure enough, the Snowmen had already torn apart half the shop, and were in the process of toppling the giant Christmas tree. Sales associates were either running in panicked circles or yelling for the Snowmen to stop.

The Doctor cackled evilly. "Oh yes we will… Come on!"

Taking her by the hand once more, they dashed across the rooftops headed towards a large red sleigh perched atop one of the houses.

"Up here!" the Doctor leapt up onto the sleigh, pulling Rose up after him.

"On Dasher! On Dancer!"

With a whirl of the Sonic, the sleigh lurched forward and began to slide down the steep roof. They picked up more speed, shooting across the village.

"Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Rose cried as the sled neared a gap in the roofs.

She needn't have worried, the sleigh was going so fast they simply flew over the gap.

The final rooftop was getting closer… How were they going to stop? They were going too fast!

The Doctor looked around for a moment, and stood carefully atop the seat.

"Rose- when I jump, grab my waist, alright?"

Rose nodded quickly.

Trying desperately to keep his balance, the Doctor reached out and caught another rope of Christmas lights. Leaping from the sled with Rose clinging tightly to his waist, they swung over the village.

They swung over the bakery, the houses, the manger, and finally, the rooftop containing the thermostat. The Doctor stretched out his foot, twisting the dial with his bright red Converse. The result was instantaneous. The Snowmen screeched as they began to soften, and then to melt. Soon all that was left of the fiends were little hats and corncob pipes.

The Doctor and Rose shared their victory hug and slid off the roof to a waiting sales associate.

"Thank you!" cried the little bald man. "You saved us from those awful creatures? How can we repay you?"

"Well…"

Several minutes, parcels, and carols later, the two companions strolled joyfully out of the store and towards the TARDIS.

"Wait a second," the Doctor shoved his packages into a spacious pocket and plucked an icicle from the roof of the TARDIS.

"Yum!" he exclaimed, unlocking the ship and holding the door for Rose. She shook her head and laid her packages next to the tree.

"Mmmph! 'Ose!"

She glanced over at the Doctor's sudden cry, and suppressed a giggle. The icicle was stuck to his lips!

"'Elp! I 'an't 'et i' o'!"

"What? You can't get it off?"

Tentatively, Rose reached for the icicle. "Are you sure you can't just wait for it to melt?"

"'Ose!"

"Alright, alright," she muttered. She wrapped her fingers around the icicle and tugged it quickly, cringing at the sound.

"Sorry," she apologized quickly, staring at his bloody lips and pained expression. Not thinking, she planted a quick kiss on them.

"Better?"

The Doctor smiled despite his pain.

"Not even close…"

So, there you have it! Merry Christmas!


End file.
